Theory Of Everything
“When we pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.” ~ John Muir
A few days back, I was at the London School of Economics listening to Brian Klaas, a social scientist who has recently published a compelling book, “Fluke”. The book’s premise is that major events could have seemingly trivial and mundane causes. Anything that comes to pass in the world is a result of a chain of such small occurrences, sometimes even unrelated to the result. In that sense, all of us and everything around us may just as well be thought of as a fluke!
I was reminded of this way of looking at things today, when Lara (name changed to protect identity), a fellow mum at my children’s school, caught my eye. Almost unconsciously, I made a snap judgment based on her overweight, out-of-shape body. Reeling from shame at my casual cruelty, little did I realise that a lesson was lurking in it, just around the corner. What followed in the moments afterward, allowed me to see her and myself from a much more relaxed, and kinder perspective.
A few minutes later, her youngest, pre-school child started playing with her. Lara joined her son enthusiastically while trying to maintain some attention on her conversations. In the beginning, they were holding hands, she lifted him, and hugged him — it was an endearing interaction to watch. However, his mum’s patience emboldened this cute little kid and within minutes, he wanted to climb! Looks like he was about to enlist his mum for his daily dose of gross motor exercise. One step at a time, he started to climb the frame of her comfortably large body. With hands securely in hers, his tiny feet climbed hers, and then slowly he began his ascent on her lower legs, then her thighs, then her tummy, and eventually, he reached up until she could hug him tight. This play continued until he had made several rounds to the summit. I was amused to see how much both Lara and her son were enjoying this game.
It struck me that it is only, and ONLY because of the way Lara’s body is that her son gets to climb safely and securely. Moreover, he gets a validating hug from the most important person in his life at the end of his arduous ascent. He does not need a climbing frame. No Pikler triangles or Montessori accessories are needed. His mum is enough, just as she is. Lara’s out-of-shape body is perfectly as it needs to be for her child in this moment, but also for her to have this experience with her child at this fleeting age. It is only because Lara’s body has retained its “out-of-shape” shape, that her child gets a great deal more climbing exercise than his peers whose mums are slender. Perhaps, he also gets more opportunities to receive direct warmth and cuddles from his mum than his peers do. These are facts. They are not right or wrong ways of being. Neither fair nor unfair. They just are.
Applying the ideas we started with, let’s see what one possible future may look like. Who knows, perhaps because Lara’s body today is large, her little boy gets lots of climbing exercise in his early childhood years, and therefore he develops into a strong kid. Buoyed by that confidence he remains active well into adulthood and eventually, lives a healthy decade longer than he otherwise would have. Possibly, in that decade, he will mentor younger sportspersons, one of whom may go on to become an Olympian. All because Lara is not a slender mum today. You get the drift.
As the wise, modern sage Michael Singer taught me —
“Everything is a result of everything that has happened before it.”
Every single thing. And that there is nothing to correct, only to surrender to, exactly as it is.
Everything is exactly as it is meant to be, in this moment. There may or may not be a pre-meditated reason, but there is purpose behind every littlest detail around us. Especially behind the things that we think are “out of shape” in our lives. Hidden in those are seeds of a unique and precise future. A future that may turn out to be precious to those dearest to you.
