Loved your article, your courage to see and accept the imperfection of your childhood and the candour in expressing it. Moreover, you've channeled your acceptance into something concrete - a more present way of parenting your own kids. That's remarkable.

It is also unmistakable that you feel sadness, may be even anger at the way your parents parented (or didn't) you. Without you realising it, subconsciously and unconsciously, this anger could carry over to your own parenting - maybe a slow expectation building over time that your being a better parent implies your kids should respond better to you (just an example).

Anyway, my point is that it is really crucial to process our misgivings with our own parents as quickly as possible so they don't carry over into our subconscious parenting dogmas. I think writing is a tremendous way to do that. So long as we don't make it a way to fulfil our latent desire to get back at our parents for their negligence, then that would be counterproductive because it only accentuates unahppy memories. I'd love to read more of your writing that shows how you have psychologically dealt with your disagreements with your parents.

Fortunately, I had parents who I think did their very best. However, that means I am having to be conscious of my fear that I may not be doing enough myself, for my own kids...a different side of this parenting dilemma.